From time to time, i open up a bit about the things that have happened to me over the years. This usually happens after I have had a bad night of flashbacks. Sometimes the memories will dog me into the daylight and I have a hard time fighting free of them. I will not tell this in chronological order. With few exceptions, the people involved are dead. I remain reluctant to names names, therefore, some names will have been changed to protect the guilty.

I may write about childhood one day, my present life another, and my writing career still another. I will write whatever strikes me or rises from the depths of memory.

As a result, maybe I will figure out things I don’t understand concering what happened to me. Trauma punched a lot of holes in my memories. Sometimes I remember a name, but can’t put a face to it; other times i remember a face, but can’t put a name to it. Sometimes i will remember a sequence of events, but can’t remember what came first. This is especially true of the most intense traumas I experienced.

Maybe writing it down will help me fill in the gaps. I have been gradually remembering more and more pieces of it.

I also want to see if I can talk my way through it without shattering into a thousand pieces.

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