I admit to the existence of my homophonic hatreds. Homophones drive me nuts. No matter how hard I try, they just get under my skin. I do not believe that homophones should have the right to marry. Marriage should be limited to a verb and a noun. God did not create homophones, Webster did.

Adam Lowe, a new member of the Legion of Nitwits, just accused me of bigotry against homophones.

Actually, the word he said was “homophobe.” I want to know just how a bi-sexual gender queer who makes an innocent remark using the term “gay-dar” is automatically a homophobe? I have been out of the closet for twenty years.

He should have googled me before going off on that rant.