I suppose that the biggest irony of this entire situation with DiC is that had I been asked calmly to fix them, I would have done so the same day.

Human nature, certainly mine, is to dig in our heels when we are faced with aggressive behavior.  The response might be passive aggressive, such as appearing to cooperate, but dragging our heels.  Or it can be confrontational in response.  It can be a pissing contest.

The forms have a great variety, but the outcome is always the same: the person to initiate the aggressive stance never gets what they wanted out of it.

I waited 5 hours before responding to the individual, I searched out stuff and tried to mellow.  I deleted my first response which was simply “fuck off” and tried for a calmer take on it.  I think I achieved it.  But in the end, the result was the same.

The kind of anger I got was similar to other situations.  Initially I felt like I had just taken a blow to the solar plexus.

It was 1 in the morning when I saw it.  I was returning to bed from a visit to the bathroom and stopped to check email.  I was up the rest of the night because my head was spinning.

I got my second email and shared it with Natalie as I tried to make a decision on a second response.  I wanted someone to read it who was distanced from the situation.  That’s one of the ways I have to prevent myself from going completely kamikaze.

The next four emails, I simply did not read.  I put three tablets in front of the computer monitor so that I could see only the line required to forward it and not read the contents, and then sent them again to Nat.

I’ve done this before when I did not want to continue to lose my center in dealing with rude behavior.  I can’t afford to lose the work time.  I’m running behind on too many projects, partly from stress, partly from simply having too much on my plate, and partly from health reasons.

I collapsed exhausted at 3PM and woke up at 11PM and found this newest spate of them.

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