Posts tagged ‘Hertzan Chimera’

International writing scams

The Taj Mahal Review  charges $25 a copy for a beautifully produced magazine.  They do not pay their authors and they do not give them a contributor’s copy. You have to buy it for yourself.  The expensiveness of the magazine combined with the latter aspects has always made me feel that they were a back end scam. I first became suspicious of them in 2005 when Nickolaus Pacione was bragging about selling them some stories and poems. I submitted a poem to them that was already widely available on the net called “Anksha.” They accepted it. That’s when I got the details about the costs and no payment or copy. Since that was a legitimate poem, I then sent them another poem.  This time the poem was deliberately bad. Guess what? They accepted it.

It was a guest post on Victoria Strauss’ blog that reminded me of it.

Americans tend to be a bit naive when dealing with people in foreign countries. There is a huge movement of PC people who say that it is wrong to criticize foreign people who are not from Western nations. I  have been banned from many feminist communities for sharing my negative experiences with Africans (and I don’t blacks in general) and Moslems.  PC and naivete can blind us to the fact that scams are universal and a full part of all cultures and all religions and all whatevers. It’s human nature. Now click the link below and read that post on Victoria Strauss’ blog.

International writing scams

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Libel Tourism Bill

The House of Representatives passed the libel tourism bill I mentioned in a post about a month ago, when the Phleabitten war at Goodreads was heavy.  And it looks like it will pass the Senate shortly.  This is a major victory over those foriegn doody-heads who are persecuting American authors.

Once it passes the Senate, I intend to write a fresh post about Philbin and his extradition threats just to laugh at him.

HEY PHLEABITTEN, NYAH!  NYAH!

The About The Legion Page

You’ll notice on the tabs that there is an “About the Legion” page atop my blog. It has been there ever since my last visit from Philbin. I guess he must have gotten unhappy with the fact that I’ve been leaving his name off my tags lately, because he just left two comments on it. The usual shit.

Here, Mikakke, I have put a tag on my blog post with your name on it. Happy?

Edited to Add: and little stinky snookums made a blog entry about me and linked it. Screenshot in case he takes it down per his usual bukakke

Edited to add again: Pacione says we should stop terrorizing Philbin

Tabloid Headlines!

With a hat tip to Rusty Nail

Secret military files have recently been unearthed! The movie Them has been proven prophetic. A biohazard near Los Angeles has spawned a 50 Foot Ant that is leaving a swath of destruction in its wake. It appears to be headed for Chicago. Residents are fleeing the city.

Sabledrake Loses Fur! Rumor has it that the black dragon known as Sabledrake is going bald. Doctors and Scientists are baffled as the great one becomes a nudist.

REVOLT OF THE MINIONS! Reporters on the scene watch from behind the barricades as maddened minions storm Castle Koehler. Literary vampire quoted as saying that if they keep getting out of hand she will put the bite on them.

Lake Fossil has become an endangered species as Armored Goldfish Invade Chicago River. Conservationists are appalled and demanding military intervention to save the Lake Fossil.

It had recently been reported that SirOtter was seen Leaving a Werewolf Bar. The paparazzi had a field day with candid shots of drunken author with his arms around two furry females in thongs.

Jodi Lee made headlines today when she hooked the Creature from the Black Lagoon while fishing in her neighbor’s swimming pool.

Noted expatriate British author Willie Meikle shaved beard, revealing that he is actually Oscar Wilde.

A tragic misfire occurred in Finland when Autoaim shot the balls off one of the last of the endangered species known as Homo Suidae. Pacione still attempting to sew them back on with pink thread. When interviewed by reporters, Autoaim shook his head and replied, “That wasn’t the part I was aiming for.”

ExposeTheTard Exposed! Noted blogger ExposetheTard was recently discovered to be a frustrated Tallulah Bankhead look alike and small time stripper who calls herself Ninochka. “I’ll strip anyone down to their bare nuts … except Nicky. He doesn’t have any.”

Giant Lobster Hovers Over Oxford! Mike Philbin has been coated in cum from a Giant Lobster that emerged from the Thames looking for Bukkakeworld.

Philbin's Dichotomy

Stephen Theaker just replied to my review of Philbin’s Bukakkeworld with the following:

“Can’t argue (from what I’ve read) with your comment that it’s a disgusting book – I think that’s the point – but it’s very clearly a young woman, not an underage child on the cover.”

I think that’s over stating the obvious.  Philbin wanted it to be a disgusting book.  However, Philbin appears to want to be appreciated and popular for writing disgusting books.  He wants the acclaim he thinks his genius demands.  This was plain from his starting that thread at Shocklines to get people to harass me for giving him that review.

The inherent dichotomy of Philbin wanting to force people to grant him recognition as an author while writing books that the majority of readers will find disgusting is schizophrenic in its diametrically opposed components.

Furthermore, if a book is intended to be disgusting, and then a reviewer makes the point that the book is disgusting, why complain about it? The review has merely recognized the writer’s intentions.

Open letter to the legion of nitwits

None of you write as well as I do.

None of you blog as well as I do.

You want to spread lies around like pastries at a tea party?

You and your shallow lives.

Your petty vindictiveness at trivial insults.

Your egos without substance like rattling poltergeists

When you, with your comfortable lives

your minor inconveniences

Have walked through the halls of hell

and emerged alive

Perhaps then, you will have earned the right to speak

and be heard.

Because then you will have something

genuine to say.

For now you continue

to spout your shallow claims to empty profundity

while your non-existent souls find

no place to prove you deserve

to exist

__________________

Shelley knew of what he spoke
And all these fools ‘neath ego’s yoke
Are shattered on the desert sand
to be forgot before they stand
Little men of little worth
With empty words do they give birth
To fiction lacking in earnest heart.

Emptiness doth they impart

— anonymous

I am a Homophone

I admit to the existence of my homophonic hatreds. Homophones drive me nuts. No matter how hard I try, they just get under my skin. I do not believe that homophones should have the right to marry. Marriage should be limited to a verb and a noun. God did not create homophones, Webster did.

Adam Lowe, a new member of the Legion of Nitwits, just accused me of bigotry against homophones.

Actually, the word he said was “homophobe.” I want to know just how a bi-sexual gender queer who makes an innocent remark using the term “gay-dar” is automatically a homophobe? I have been out of the closet for twenty years.

He should have googled me before going off on that rant.